A defensive wizard. An offensive travesty.

Yes, this is where we face a conundrum. Ryan saved 21 runs according to Fangraphs last season, which ranked him third overall in baseball. He made 87 out of zone players (11th overall) and posted a 1.4 WAR despite hitting like a man with no arms. So if Ryan saved 21 runs, the question becomes: did he prevent 21 runs from scoring with his bat? This is where the metrics fail in some ways. How do we determine this? Let’s start with Ryan’s average with runners in scoring position. In 2012, Brendan Ryan ranked 247th out of 266 players with 75 or more plate appearances in average with runners in scoring position. Ryan batted a pathetic .198 in those situations (hence all the attempted squeeze plays) and drove in 29 runs. Of course if Ryan gets a sacrifice fly or bunt, it will not influence his average. Out of those 266 players, the league average would be .268 in the same situations or seven more base hits for Ryan. This doesn’t count any sacrifices and already we are at anywhere between seven and 14 runs produced which tightens the gap for his runs saved. At the same time, this doesn’t measure what a Ryan pop up or strike out with less than two outs does to the Mariners ability to score runs. So quickly we see that his 21 runs saved in 2012 can be negated with the bat despite many claims otherwise.Of course none of this takes into account the Ryan’s hilarity factor.

Unfortunately on a team that 13th in the American League in runs and 12th in OPS, Ryan becomes a quick target for the continually frustrated Mariner fans despite his sense of humor. Even though the poor offensive performance that permeates the Mariners, most bloggers and knowledgeable fans advocate for keeping Ryan on the field. And when it comes down to Ryan vs. Andino, they are right. But the decision shouldn’t come down to Ryan vs. Andino. It should be about Carlos Truinfel and Nick Franklin.

Once a top 50 prospect in all of baseball, Truinfel no longer registers on most baseball analysts radars. He earned a brief call up in September 2012 and actually made three out of zone plays (one metric to figure out the defensive value of a player) in just 40 innings of baseball. Truinfel has an absolute cannon for an arm that may allow him to make up for other defensive shortcomings (which seem to be mostly mental), but the real appeal could be his bat. After hitting .260 with 10 homers in AAA last season, Truinfel is batting .300 with two homers and 13 RBI this year. The most concerning aspect of Truinfel is his ability to decipher a good pitcher (a.k.a. is he just hacking?). With three walks and 21 K’s, there is a good chance he would look lost at the Major League level. But would he be any worse than Ryan at the plate? On three – yes three! – occasions this year, Ryan was asked to lay down a safety or suicide squeeze and he failed. For someone seemingly incapable of producing a run through a sacrifice fly or base hit, the ability to lay down a bunt is crucial. This isn’t to say Ryan hasn’t executed a squeeze because he did it just five days ago, but to fail three other times when hitting .149 is a problem. Yet the mental lapses defensively and the apparent lack of an eye at the plate are enough to keep Truinfel from taking the position.

Nice form

The biggest worry about Nick Franklin is whether he can handle the shortstop position defensively. Since I haven’t seen him at the position, it would be unfair for me to assess the validity of this concern. However, given the data regarding the nearly zero sum effect of Ryan’s offense vs. defense and the Andino alternative, Franklin becomes a legitimate answer. The top 50 prospect doesn’t have the same plate issues as Truinfel. In fact, it isn’t even close. Franklin has walked 16 times this season and struck out only nine times, while batting. 400 with three homers and an OPS of 1.124. There isn’t much more Franklin can do at the plate to prove himself despite only doing it for a month.

Many will advocate for Franklin to get more time to work defensively in the minors and to prove his bat for longer than a month. Others will say that Brendan Ryan isn’t the biggest issue on a roster that features Aaron Harang, Joe Saunders, Raul Ibanez and Robert Andino. And finally, there are those who don’t want to rush Franklin as they worry about confidence issues if he struggles or starting his service clock too soon. While all legitimate concerns, it is clear that Jack Zduriencik and Eric Wedge are fighting for their jobs (probably Wedge more than Jack Z). They don’t seem worried about the next few seasons as much as the here and now. And even if they were concerned about the next few seasons, Ryan isn’t going to be a part of that. While I haven’t seen Franklin play defense, many scouts have. Baseball Prospect Nation said this about Franklin’s fielding: “Good defender with fluid actions, good first step quickness and soft hands. Nothing flashy with the glove but solid fundamentals. Very reliable defender that makes the plays on balls he gets to. Range is average. Plays hard and will make a few extra plays because of effort. Can handle SS and could play a very good 2B as well. Potential average defender at SS.” The Scouting Book said he is an “above-average fielder with decent range.” Clearly, despite the concerns, Franklin isn’t a disaster at shortstop. Meanwhile, Ryan IS clearly a disaster at the plate.

Nick Franklin makes the Mariners better right now. Call him up.

Send it in Jerome!

When the Sonics left for Oklahoma City, I spent a couple years mad at the NBA. I didn’t want to watch games. I certainly couldn’t watch the Thunder become a dominant force in the league and I gravitated more and more to other sports entertainment options. After a couple years, I started to watch the NBA playoffs again. I didn’t really care about the regular season, but the playoffs intrigued me. When I attended the Sonics-Kings series in 2005, I was fascinated by the adjustments that both Rick Adelman and Nate McMillan made to counter each other. Despite Jerome James being an average center at best, McMillan learned early in the series that he could feed him for easy buckets against Brad Miller. Did you know the big fella averaged 17.2 points and 9.4 rebounds in that Sacramento series? That is ridiculous! McMillan also countered the poor Kings pick and roll defense with Antonio Daniels instead of Luke Ridnour. With Ridnour, the Kings would sink and dare him to shoot. However, Daniels came off the pick aggressively and Sacramento struggled to stop it. Did I mention that Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis were on the Sonics then? This is how awesome a playoff series can be. Unsung heroes, coaching at its best, players stepping up when they have no business doing so (i.e. Nate Robinson!).

And now we are at the day where the NBA may come back to Seattle. And of course, strangely enough, it could be those very same Kings that replace my beloved Sonics of old. I don’t think I could have wrapped my head around that in 2005. Shoot, I can’t wrap my head around it now. I don’t know whether to be happy or empathetic toward Kings fans if it comes true. I don’t know whether I will feel as pissed again if it doesn’t come true. I just know that there is some ridiculously entertaining basketball being played across the country right now in the NBA and I want it back in Seattle.

Did you see Nate Robinson on Saturday?Or how about Steph Curry’s third quarter last night?

And Andrew Bogut played damn angry yesterday.

I miss you NBA. Come on back please.

Offensive Line

Faster in Camo

Despite the second half surge of the Seahawks offense and a rush offense that finished third overall in yards per game, the offensive line remains an area in need of starters and depth. Pro Bowlers Russell Okung (LT) and Max Unger (C) hold down the line, but the other spots are potentially wide open. Guard Paul McQuistan is decent at the guard spot, but right tackle Breno Giacomini is inconsistent at best. The other guard spot (or potentially McQuistan’s spot) could be held down by some combination of draft picks James Carpenter, John Moffitt and/or J.R. Sweezy. Ultimately how early the Hawks pick a lineman will be a good indication in their confidence in either Giacomini or their many guards. 

A popular pick among bloggers and draft “experts” for Seattle if they go O-line in the second round is Oregon OT Kyle Long. Despite only four career starts after a career that included time playing baseball at Florida State, a DUI, and a position switch, Long has the ever popular upside. Long’s versatility between guard and tackle makes him even more of a fit for the Hawks in the second round, should they choose to go that route.

Larry Warford of Kentucky is another popular name who many believe will be gone before the 56th pick on Friday. Lets just say that Warford is a large human who may not be very quick, but he is LARGE.

Justin Pugh of Syracuse is another hot name who may not be available to the Hawks, but many feel would be a great pick. He is another player considered to have the flexibility to play either tackle or guard. Unfortunately for Pugh (and those wishing that he would grab things off the top shelf), he has shorter arms than most tackles so he probably ends up at guard. That may be ok with the Hawks depending on their evaluation of the current roster.

Terron Armstead of Arkansas-Pine Bluff is an intriguing prospect due to his high intelligence, crazy upside and potential success in the zone-blocking scheme according to scouts. Many of those same scouts describe him as a better athlete than football player at this point. Sounds just like a guy the Hawks would draft to me. Also, if you watched the other offensive lineman clips above you need to find a hobby. But watch this one. Armstead is faster than other O-lineman. I heart him.

David Bakhtiari of Colorado is noted mostly for his long arms, quickness and girth. That makes him another guy who seems to fit the Hawks’ profile for an offensive lineman. Dallas Thomas of Tennessee exhibits some of the athletic attributes the Hawks might like as well, while David Quessenberry of San Jose State has a name no one can like. Brian Winters of Kent State has an injured shoulder that hasn’t ever gone away so I don’t like him as a Hawks selection with the Moffitt and Carpenter injuries over the past couple years.

So who do you like?

Outside Linebacker

I like you

While many could easily find reasons why Leroy Hill won’t be back with the Seahawks next season, the clearest might be that Cliff Avril took his number. Or it could be the DUIs. Tomato, tomato. (How do you write that to convey the way it should sound?) While KJ Wright emerged as the starting SAM linebacker, the options at the WILL spot are still pretty wide open with Hill gone. Former USC players Malcolm Smith and Mike Morgan each showed glimpses of taking this spot in 2013, but I am not sure anyone is completely comfortable with the idea. Smith seems more likely to fill the role, but if the right player fell to the Hawks in rounds 2-4 it is clear they would take him with the idea of that player being the starter.

Trying to determine which potential outside linebackers fit the Seahawks profile, we can only really guess of course. The best way to examine this is to look at who they already have and find guys in common. While the weakside linebacker will be asked to fill a different role than the SAM or MIKE, the Hawks clearly value youth and speed. It also doesn’t help much to look at precedent at the WILL spot because I don’t imagine the Hawks are looking to replace Leroy Hill with a Leroy Hill clone. They may have visions of that role being much different from coverage to blitz packages. However, KJ Wright does provide us with a starting point. As a draft prospect, Wright measure in at 6’3 and 246 pounds while running a 4.75 in the 40 and 4.46 in the shuttle. His arm length was impressive as well at 34 7/8 (this is something that many believe the Hawks value in their defensive players, but how the hell would we really know?).

There are a few guys who fit the profile nicely who look intriguing to me if the Hawks decided to go in the direction of an outside linebacker in rounds 2-4. Jamie Collins of Southern Mississippi may not be available because he has a lot of attributes the Hawks seem to desire, and thus other teams will like him as well. At 6-4 and 250, Collins runs a 4.59 in the 40 and has an arm length of 33.75.

Sio Moore is my favorite candidate. At 6-1, 245, Moore ran a 4.62 with 33.6 inch arms and a 4.31 shuttle time.

Jon Bostic is a possibility from Florida (remember the Dan Quinn connection here) as he measured 6-1, 245 and ran a 4.59 with 33 inch arms.

Lastly, in probably a later round, Ty Powell of Harding (is that a school?), is 6-2, 249 and ran a 4.60 with 32 inch arms. There are highlights of his Pro Day, but none of game action. I doubt anyone wants to see him running around cones for eight minutes. Of course, this is who the Hawks will take then.

There are other players like Chase Thomas of Stanford who are more recognizable names, but Thomas seems to slow (4.83) to fit the Hawks wish list. Gerald Hodges of Penn State is a name that gets thrown about as well for the Hawks because he is a converted safety with good coverage skills. Clearly the Hawks aren’t afraid to take a flyer on a guy who is new to a position (i.e. Richard Sherman), but criticism of Hodges notes that he struggles to get off blocks in the run game. With Michael Turner burning Seattle in the playoffs, I feel the run game defense is essential in selecting a linebacker. Similar criticism has been made of hot prospect Sean Porter of Texas A & M, who weighs in at only 229. I can’t see the Hawks going that way either. Jelani Jenkins of Florida can also fit this profile as Rob Rang says he “can get swallowed up by the humanity, losing sight of the ball and shows inconsistent effort turning to help in pursuit.” Damn.

So who do you want the Hawks to take?

I never anticipated it would come to this after 34 years. When my father introduced me to you in the dank, grey Kingdome, I couldn’t have imagined that we would last this long. First of all, I was only a few weeks old so I didn’t know what was going on. Babies can be that way. Second, who would have guessed that despite building a beautiful stadium, watching four Hall of Famers play, and having all the resources necessary, that you will still be so disappointing to watch? Who knew that it would come down to this?

I need a break.

Go Hawks!

I’ve never purposely strayed from you, but it is time. My hopes and dreams and love of baseball have been shattered. I can’t watch you for awhile. I can’t witness the inept pathetic team you’ve continued to be while still maintaining my sanity. I can’t be a good father while watching Justin Smoak be Justin Smoak. I ignore other parts of my life to be with you and you continue to disappoint. Maybe I had too high of expectations. Maybe if I expected you to be the worst team in baseball, I would be happy for any wins whatsoever. You know what though? You are almost the worst. At 7-13, you have the 5th worst record in MLB. You are 27th in runs, 29th in OPS, 26th in ERA, 28th in steals, and 29th in strikeouts. You suck at nearly everything.So it is you, not me.You got my hopes up with prospects like Dustin Ackley, Jesus Montero, and Smoak. They look like they all belong in AAA. Who cares about Mike Zunino? He will just come up and be like the rest. You sign successful players and they come to die in your cavernous pit of an existence known as the Mariners clubhouse.

I used to blame my fellow fans for not attending games, but you know what? They were the smart ones. You haven’t put a product on the field worth watching in years. YEARS. Fans here aren’t bad baseball fans, they just don’t want to waste their time. They aren’t as rabid as East Coast fans, but no fans are on the West Coast. All West coast teams feature fans who support when times are good and can be just as loud as any when filling the stadium. And that is no different with the Mariners.

So I will join them. I go on a one week sabbatical starting today. Don’t try to lure me in. I need this break for us. For our future together. It’s the only solution right now.

Best facial hair currently in sports? – Anthony D.

Brian: Josh Reddick of the Athletics shaved off his ridiculous bug-infested beard that made him look like Ambrose Burnside’s forgotten homeless step-child. So there’s that. But beards are definitely popular these days. From Luke Hancock of Louisville to every closer/pitcher in baseball, they are the rage! Nevertheless, these pale in comparison to Teen Wolf. Not even close for me. Best facial hair in sports and best ability to transform oneself mid-game into an animal.

Kevin: How about James Harden? It’s so bold and in your face, yet it seems completely natural and it fits his personality. He’s a damn good basketball player, but the fact that he has made his facial hair a proper noun – The Beard – is equally impressive. By the way, what’s Teen Wolf? Some TV show from the early 90s/80s? And who is Ambrose Burnside? Stop using comparisons that I can’t relate to!

B: Kevin, I am pretty upset here. First, Teen Wolf is a fantastic film. It needs to be watched by every American at some point in their lives. Just to give you a taste, check out this scene:

How could you forget?

Second, the fact that you don’t know Ambrose Burnside is actually a slap in the face. The Union general was an utter failure during the Civil War, but gives us our cultural reference known as “sideburns”. More importantly, I taught you about him in your junior history class. But you were probably sleeping. I have never – I repeat NEVER – had another student in my years teaching who fell asleep as I lectured. I’ve had bored students or students who space out, but NO ONE who falls asleep. And yet, you won the State competition for National History Day papers under my guidance and tutelage. Essentially, you are Justin Smoak. A great prospect who fails to live up to expectations.

What do you think the reaction will be if four NFL players actually come out? – Heidi K.

K: The reaction around the league will be overwhelmingly positive and these players will be embraced. I don’t think we’re giving football players enough credit, and perhaps we’re assuming they fit the “dumb jock” stereotype too easily. General managers and coaches are not stupid either; they won’t let a player’s sexuality determine how they feel about that player, they are more concerned with wins and losses. Sure there will be a few fans and maybe a few NFL players against the notion of these players coming out, but I’m betting they’ll be the minority.

B: I think Kevin’s answer is a bit too utopian. When you look at polls throughout the country that indicate only 50-53% of Americans support gay marriage, it is safe to say that there are around 25-30% of Americans who are straight up homophobic or bigots. Thus I don’t think it would be as “happy go lucky” as Kevin describes within an NFL locker room or among a team. However, I think it is absolutely necessary that someone, or a group of four in this case, breaks the mold in a Jackie Robinson/Larry Doby sense. And similar to Mr. Robinson, the first four players to come out will need to include a player who is a star. With a big name, the players will be forced to face their fears or stereotypes. This will also force GMs and owners to not hide behind cutting a player for performance reasons when in reality it is related to sexual orientation. In the same way that Magic Johnson alleviated unsubstantiated fears in players regarding his diagnosis, a star football player can alleviate ignorant players’ fears regarding a gay player in the locker room. Without the star player, the reaction will be much more controversial and messy in my opinion. Thus, I am hoping that the four DO come out and am also hoping for the sake of gay athletes, a star player is one of those four.

When do the Mariners give up on Ackley/Smoak? – @maxbertellotti

B: There is a big difference between when the Mariners give up on Dustin Ackley and Justin Smoak and when I give up on Dustin Ackley and Justin Smoak. The struggles of Smoak have been well documented because he has experienced more than a slice of the majors at this point, yet he’s still awful. Yet I have more hope for Smoak at this point than Ackley. This saddens me greatly because I was a big Ackley fan after watching him hit early in his rookie season, but the guy is lost. I agree whole heartedly with Jason Churchill at Prospect Insider who tweeted this Tuesday:

For me, it’s simple with Ackley. Needs to find the stroke to CF and the other way or he won’t hit.

— Jason A. Churchill (@ProspectInsider) April 9, 2013

I can’t watch Ackley ground out to second base anymore. It drives me insane. He has no power, he can’t hit line drives, and he’s not fast enough to beat out infield dribblers. Smoak at least has the ability to hit the long ball (hitting 19 HR in 2012 even when horrible overall). Realistically, the M’s are going to give Ackley into next season. They might send him down at some point this year, but he will still be the starting 2B to start 2014. Smoak has until the end of May to be decent and the All-Star break to be more than decent. With Mike Zunino tearing it up already in AAA, there are options by moving Kendrys Morales to 1B and Jesus Montero to full-time DH.

K: We should’ve gave up on Smoak last year. Yes, he did perform towards the end of the year, but I’m still thinking of this articlewritten by Dave Cameron last June. Smoak’s ceiling is low and he’s had ample time to prove himself in the major leagues. As for Ackley, I agree with Brian. And I think he’ll turn it around.

What will the Seahawks linebackers look like in 2013? – Craig A.

B: Clearly KJ Wright and Bobby Wagner will return as starters. Both players emerged as potential studs, if not just great starters, last year on a stout Hawk defense. The question of course is who is the other guy? Leroy Hill cannot be back. I guess he could, but all he does is get in trouble very offseason. They need to get younger and less arrested. Malcolm Smith has a shot based on how he finished 2012, but I think the third guy isn’t on the roster right now. I would guess GM John Schneider will find a gem in the draft to fill the third position. With Smith, Mike Morgan and some combination of Heath Farwell (special teams), Allen Bradford (got a lot better last year) and Korey Toomer (started strong but faded as a rookie) as reserves.

K: Ask us this question again after the draft, like Brian, I wouldn’t be surprised if Malcom Smith was given a shot at that third spot.

B: Great research and thought there Kev. Way to put in a lot of effort.

Do we really need Congressional hearings over the Rutgers incident and other sporting issues? – Kevin S.

K: Gut reaction? Absolutely not. Sporting issues aren’t nearly as important as national security, political ethics and economic issues. Shouldn’t the NCAA and other professional leagues be able to handle this stuff by themselves? What’s the use of utilizing tax-payer dollars when there are insitutions ALREADY in place to take care of issues like the one at Rutgers or steroids in baseball?

B: Of course not. Do you know what we need Congressional hearings for? Congress. We need Congress to hold a hearing on themselves. Can we have someone ask them what the hell they do all day? Can we get full transparency on why Congressmen and Congresswomen vote the way they do? Is anyone else tired of having our representatives and Senators simply supporting those who fund their re-election campaigns?

Leave Barry Bonds alone. Let Mike Rice be fired. I am pretty sure A-Rod has suffered enough. We don’t need Congress to get involved.

What is Peyton Siva’s post-NCAA future? – @maxbertellotti

B: This question intrigues me a lot and is something Kevin and I have discussed back and forth a bit already. It is a tough answer so we should start with some facts. Neither draftexpress.com or NBAdraft.net project Siva to go in the first two rounds. If Siva could shoot better than 29% for his career from the college three point line, he might have a shot. And if Siva were taller than 5’11, he might have a shot. But because of his inability to shoot and his lack of height, he doesn’t project well to the League. With that said, how could you bet against him? He is a winner and he knows how to run a team. Why wouldn’t a team like the Spurs take a shot on him at the end of their bench with the potential to play limited minutes?

NBA bound?

More interestingly to me is why a team like the Grizzlies would draft Tony Wroten in the first round, but have no interest in a guy like Siva. Tony shot 16% from three point range last year and is 25% from the NBA three this year. He couldn’t shoot free throws despite his ability to get to the rim. Wroten was also clearly not a player interested in defending, playing hard or being a good teammate. You could see it just by watching tape of a couple games at Washington. Yet he was drafted to be an end of the bench back up? Isn’t Siva a better version of this? He lacks the height and explosion of Wroten, but I would rather have Siva pushing to get better and being a team, root-everyone-on dude on a playoff team. What do you think Kev?

K: Siva isn’t a projected draft pick because of his lack of height and inability to finish at the rim. To make it in the NBA as a short point guard at 6-foot or under, you have to have an abnormal amount of skill at a certain aspect of your game to make up for your lack of height. First easy comparisons are Nate Robinson and Isaiah Thomas. Robinson makes up for his lack of height with his insane athleticism, while Thomas is relentless at scoring the basketball and being able to finish at the rim while taking contact. Siva is athletic, but not enough to make up for his height. Siva can also score, but he lacks a consistent three-point jump shot and he isn’t great at absorbing contact and finishing. What does he have? He is quick. And quickness is at a premium in the NBA. His quickness gives him the ability to run an offense in the half-court, find teammates in transition and slash into the lane and distribute the basketball. I would not be surprised to see him drafted in the second round.

Why couldn’t Jack Z bring in power hitting vets like Morse and Morales in the past? – @patrickleary

K: Honestly, it looks like Jack Z’s hand was forced to sign guys like Morse and Morales. The past few years we’ve seen the front office target guys like Franklin Gutierrez and Brendan Ryan who have contributed defensively, but not necessarily offensively. The lack of offense and the incessant complaining by fans has prompted the recent acquisitions of Morse and Morales – I also think moving in the fences came from outside pressure as well. Home runs are fun to watch!

B: Forced to sign? Have you even been paying attention Kevin? First, he didn’t sign either of them. Kendrys Morales came over for Jason Vargas. Michael Morse came over in the John Jaso trade which all bloggers and SABR lovers slammed, which I never understood. In fact, I am pretty sure Kevin slammed it too. Everyone loved Jaso because he got on base. Great, but no pitcher is scared of a single up the middle. Pitchers are scared of home run hitters and pitch accordingly. Many of the SABR guys want to look down on team chemistry or a player’s mental approach to the game. They want stats to solve everything. The problem is that you cannot ignore what is real. Morse’s home run power is real. Opposing pitchers worrying about the Morales and Morse combo. They must approach the Mariners differently than in other seasons.

However, I do agree with Kevin that Jack Z changed his approach a bit. Instead of going for speed, defense and pitching (Cliff Lee, Chone Figgins, drafting Danny Hultzen), Jack Z went for more power. And I’m glad he did.

Would Seattle support and succeed with an NHL team? #hockeyonthebrain #lmuhasahockeyteam – @LMUIceHockey

B: Wait, wait, wait. We need to focus on the real story here – Loyola Marymount has an ice hockey team! This is incredible. As I looked more into this, I found that the University of Washington has an ice hockey team as well. Where do they play? Is this real? Apparently LMU barely missed making regionals and just had a locker room built on campus. Kevin, have you been to this locker room? Why don’t you cover them?

Ice ice baby…too cold?

In terms of Seattle, commissioner Gary Bettman stated that Seattle would be a great city, but he can’t quite put it in those words. He has to dance around all the possible cities and locations for teams like the Phoenix Coyotes. But yes, I do feel that Seattle could support an NHL team. The area supports three WHL teams currently and generally supports a winner. The Thunderbirds average 4036 fans per contest, the Everett Silvertips average 5062 fans per contest, and the Portland Winterhawks average 6687 fans per contest. Not all of these fans, especially from Portland, will attend every game of an NHL team, but it proves there is a base here already. Add in the fact that with every major sports franchise in Seattle, the attendance rises with winning (look at Seahawks, Mariners and Sonics for history on this) and the NHL absolutely can be successful.

K: Yes, after seeing the Sounders gain the insane amount of support the past few years, I believe there would be a solid contingent of hockey fans to support a professional team. First things first, though, we need an arena. And before we build an arena, we need an NBA team. Still waiting on the Kings…

B: Kevin! You didn’t address the fact that your school has an ice hockey team. THIS IS THE REAL STORY.

Over the past decade the Mariners home attendance has fallen dramatically (43K avg in 2002 (#1 in MLB) to 21K avg in 2012 (26th in MLB)). If the Sounders organization starts a losing trend do you think we’ll start seeing the tickets sales go south? – Justin F.

K: That’s a good question, but why are you thinking so negatively? Yes, but I don’t think it’ll be as drastic as the Mariners’ drop. The Sounders play a less amount of games, therefore their “exclusiveness” charactersitic is still present, much like the Seahawks and Husky football seasons in the past decade or so. Since the Sounders, Seahawks and Huskies do not play as much as the Mariners, their attendance will stay more steady than a baseball team’s attendance.

B: The Mariners were coming off 116 wins in 2001 and won 93 games in 2002. Safeco Field was still only three years old. Seattle hasn’t sniffed the playoffs since 2003 when they also won 93 games. It makes complete sense that attendance dropped. In 2008, the Washington Husky football team went 0-12. For a school that traditionally sold out every game at over 70,000 fans, the Dawgs drew under 60,000 fans for the last two homes games versus UCLA and Oregon State. The following season, despite the enthusiasm around new Head Coach Steve Sarkisian, the Huskies still struggled in attendance compared to the “glory years” (drew under 62,000 for #3 USC). While I agree with Kevin that the Sounders have an “exclusiveness” characteristic that will allow them to keep a steady base, they will face the front-running Seattle crowds as well if they keep losing. It probably won’t be seen this year, but if they put up two winning seasons in ten years (like the Mariners), they will see a significant dip. If the Mariners go to the playoffs or make a playoff run, people will go. It is that simple.

What current Seahawks WRs are on the roster next year? – @maxbertellotti

B: The locks to be on the roster next year are Sidney Rice, Golden Tate, and Percy Harvin. These three make for a pretty outstanding core and arsenal of weapons for QB Russell Wilson. Harvin will be an absolute game-changer for the Hawks. They have never – I repeat never – in the history of the franchise had a guy like Percy Harvin. The Hawks haven’t had a Pro Bowl receiver since Brian Blades in 1989. Steve Largent made seven Pro Bowls and was outstanding, but neither he or Blades or Darrell Jackson (probably next best on the list) could do much after the catch. Harvin makes people miss as well as anyone in the league. Add this to Rice and Tate’s ability as possession guys and straight-line deep threats and the Hawks are in good shape.

Kevin likes you.

I believe Doug Baldwin is in good shape as the fourth guy, but after that it is up in the air. The Hawks could look to the draft for more weapons or they could keep solid special teams players as fifth and/or sixth receivers. Basically, I wouldn’t count on anyone other than these four at this point.

K: PERCY HARVIN! PERCY HARVIN! PERCY HARVIN! Can you tell that I’m excited? That’s a solid four to count on. Anyone else added is icing on the cake. Go Seahawks!

B: Really? That’s all you got. I feel like you lost steam and just wrote Percy Harvin’s name over and over. Can you bring something to the table please?

The author’s top 5 greatest individual sporting moments. This can be a team achievement, as well. And you can limit it to your top 3 sporting moments, if you can’t get to 5. Snap! – Luis A.

K: 1) Qualifying for Districts in the Boy’s 4×100 relay (I ran the first leg). We were .30 seconds away from making it to state. Of course, as our luck had it, West Seattle had the fastest time in the state and they ended up winning the whole thing.

2) Being the fastest person on Bainbridge Island for one day. I won the 100-meter in our final league meet against Bainbridge. The Seattle Times printed my name in the results the next day – it was awesome. I ran a 12 flat.

3) Scoring 45 points in a CYO high school scrimmage. I felt like Jimmer Fredette/Ryan Appleby/God for a full game. It was so awesome hearing my defender complain because he wasn’t contesting my shot from NBA range. I don’t think I’ll ever play that unconcious again. I couldn’t miss.

My next two have yet to happen. I’m still 21…I got years ahead of me!

B: Again, so lame! You just gave up!

I am only 34, but I can do this easily.

5) Striking out four players in one inning in the fifth grade. As a young phenom, I confused the hell out of youth baseball players due my incredible control. I think most of the teams I pitched against in CYO baseball were taught to take pitches. No one could throw strikes. Except for me. In one game, my stupid catcher dropped the ball and couldn’t find it fast enough so I got credit for a strikeout, but no out. No worries, I ended the inning myself. Four K’s. Domination.

4) Some sub-human mile time at Leavey Fitness Center. When I was a freshman in college, I would venture over to Leavey on Santa Clara’s campus for a run or two. Once I started talking to a good looking girl there, I started running more often. And once that same girl said “we should run together some time”, I was ready to go. So we met at Leavey and ran together. And we ran fast. Too fast for my liking, but I couldn’t slow down. I was there to impress and so I kept running at the Forrest Gump pace I’d established. I’m pretty sure I ran a sub four minute mile that day.

Oh and to my friends, it isn’t who you think. And yes, she is on Facebook so I won’t say who it is. Too embarrassing even now.

3) My intramural football performance. Also a highlight of my freshman year in college, I was pressed into emergency duty for a playoff intramural football game. Our starter, a scrambling thrower in the mold of a homeless man’s Russell Wilson, was out due to engineering homework (or something like that). We didn’t have a lot of options, but I was feeling good about my ability to be game manager. And by game manager, I mean putting the damn team on MY BACK! Three touchdowns (one scrambling) later, we cruised to victory.

Nice angle cameraperson. Thanks.

(Note: I also caught the game winning touchdown that season in the 4th floor Swig Dorm intra-floor intramural football game. Westside vs. Eastside. We had bragging rights for the rest of the year).

2) Making the Seattle Prep Hall of Fame. Kevin, are you a Hall of Famer? In fact, how many readers of Wait For It Seattle are in the Hall of Fame anywhere? It is quite the accomplishment. Riding the coattails of players like Jeff Eicher and Dylan Nachand (can’t forget Tom Duhamel as a loyal reader of the site), I entered the Prep Hall of Fame this fall. While you may think that I entered simply because I happened to be on the back-to-back State Championship teams, you might be right. But just know that I never lost in singles at the varsity level. I was like 9-0 or something. Get some.

1) Only one thing can beat entering the Hall of Fame. My career 11-1 record in one-on-one versus Kevin Cacabelos.

Win in the end Kev. Win in the end.

You can follow us on Twitter @KevinCacabelos and @Elsnopolis.

The reality is that these supposed codes are really just a farce to keep those who don’t want their faults revealed. It isn’t snitching. As a coach I agree that the locker room is a sacred place. I agree that most of what happens or is said in the locker room stays in the locker room. But that refers to player disagreements, coach’s criticism, and arguments. This doesn’t include those who expose something that takes away the integrity of their profession or the game they love. So when Ed Rush said that he grew up with a code and he takes offense to those who don’t get it, he sounds plain old stupid.

“See, where I come from, in the NBA, there’s a code that you definitely follow. You never, ever take the conversations in that locker room outside. I learned that code in 1966. Mendy Rudolph taught me that. You talk to the NBA officials, they all follow the code.

“There’s a few guys (in the Pac-12) who didn’t follow that code. They missed that part, and that’s a shame. That’s a very important part of the bond and the profession. Shame on me for not knowing that, but I used poor judgment. So that’s my regret. Other than that, we got after it. We spent a lot of time. We definitely made some inroads in the right direction.” (AP)

In fact, not only does Rush sound stupid. He sounds a little like Colonel Nathan R. Jessup.

Tell me Jessup’s quote doesn’t sound like Ed Rush:

We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

Rush stated that it was a “shame” he didn’t know the other refs didn’t follow the “code”. He doesn’t feel bad that he threw a box lunch near one ref’s head because supposedly Arizona coach Sean Miller was out of control. He doesn’t feel bad that he essentially robbed the Pac-12 of any integrity. And in case you don’t think Rush’s bounty for giving Miller a technical was taken seriously by the refs, listen to Miller’s explanation of his technical. (Sidenote: Miller is on fire and absolutely hilarious in this clip).

By the way, full credit given to UCLA. Hilarious.

Yet Rush doesn’t know what he did wrong. Neither did Jessup.

There should be codes between teams or officials. They just shouldn’t interfere with the game itself. And they certainly shouldn’t interfere with the 1993 Sonics going to the NBA finals. As Jason Puckett of KJR reminded us, the Sonics went 28 of 36 from the free throw line and the Suns were 57 of 64. Conspiracies about the NBA seeking a Barkley-Jordan finals were present even as the game ended and have only grown stronger over time. Oh, did I mention that Ed Rush was one of those referees?

Too bad we don’t have Daniel Kaffee to put Ed Rush on the stand.

“Shaping up to be one of the top point guards on the West Coast. Athletic and he’ll go up and dunk as he’s a fine leaper. Sinks long trifectas and has a way about him on the court that is calming to others.” – Scout.com

Same as Siva?

In 2009, Abdul Gaddy and Peyton Siva wowed crowds throughout the Seattle-Tacoma area with an array of jumpers, mind-bending passes, and blow-bys that would make any mix tape aficionado say “wooooweeee”. (I hear people who watch mix tapes say that). The University of Washington recruited both players and at one time had neither of them with Gaddy committing early to the University of Arizona and Siva pledging his next four years to the University of Louisville. Now four years later, Gaddy looks forward to the Portsmouth Invitational after a disappointing collegiate career, while Siva will be playing in his second straight Final Four and capping off arguably the best college career of any player from this area. Ever.Yet that first quote from Scout.com is about Gaddy and the second is about Siva. At some point in the past four years, the better of the point guards according to the scouts took a back seat to the one who was just “shaping up” to be pretty good. Most Husky fans have been asking the question: what happened? Why didn’t Gaddy end up like Siva? (In fact, my brother-in-law’s brother Nick blames me essentially for raising his expectations about Gaddy).

The answer: mentality.

When Abdul Gaddy was a young sophomore at Bellarmine Prep, our team at Seattle Prep was scheduled to play them over the Christmas break. We sent an assistant coach to go scout the Lions and their dynamic duo of Gaddy and fellow sophomore Avery Bradley. He came back with the following report: “Both can penetrate to score, throw dimes all over the place, hit the 3, hit the pull up jumper, get to the rim, defend and get steals, handle the ball really well”. Frustrated and confused, we figured that our coach had scouted a little “generously” to say the least. Honestly, they can do it all? So I went with him to the next Bellarmine game. I left with the same report. Gaddy did anything he wanted. He was so young, yet so incredibly better than everyone else. Well, everyone except Avery Bradley.

It always easy for Abdul and I always rooted for him. I thought he was a game-changing passer and I wasn’t alone. Gaddy made the McDonald’s All-American team and the Jordan Classic. He had offers from UCLA, Arizona and Memphis among others. He played the game as if he had cheat codes.

And yet Gaddy failed to live up to this hype ultimately. He finished his four years at UW with career averages of 7.7 points and 4.0 assists per game. Hardly the numbers of a five-star recruit who was generally rated the second best point guard in the nation behind John Wall. We will never know if the torn ACL derailed Gaddy’s career or not, but it is likely that it made an already average athletic point guard a little less aggressive. Gaddy was shooting at his highest level before the injury (50% FG, 40.6% from 3, and 80% from FT line) and finished his senior year as a 30.9% shooter from 3 and 65% from the free throw stripe. Ultimately his scoring went up this season, but everything else went down or plateaued.

Despite Gaddy having quite pedestrian numbers, amazingly Siva’s numbers don’t look much different across his four years at Louisville. Siva has career averages of 8.4 points and 4.7 assists per contest, while shooting 29% from 3. Yet Siva is peaking at the right time with 5.8 assists and 86% free throw shooting as a senior. But ultimately the two players once wowing the 206 and the 253 statistically look very similar. And neither player is projected to be drafted in the first or second round of the 2013 NBA draft. So why does it seem that every Husky fan would rather have seen Siva running the point for the Dawgs than Gaddy over the past four years?

Some of it is the winning. People are frustrated by back-to-back seasons that didn’t result in NCAA tournament berths. Yet more of it is the way Siva plays versus the way Gaddy plays. Siva plays with a ferocity and tenaciousness that inspires his teammates. Gaddy seems to look scared and timid in the big moments. Siva thrives for the spotlight as shown through his back-to-back Big East tournament MVP awards. Gaddy threw the ball directly to a defender on the last pick-and-roll he ran as a player at Washington. The two simply approach the game differently. And unfortunately for everyone who plays Siva, he approaches it as if everyone doubts him and that if he loses the world might come to an end.

Thanks Peyton. Appreciate it.

I witnessed this first hand in Siva’s senior year. The 2008-09 Franklin Quakers steamrolled everyone they played including Seattle Prep behind Siva’s dynamic leadership and ridiculous talent. In fact, we agreed as coaches that Siva was the best player we’ve ever faced and that includes a list of outstanding talents like Curtis Bordchardt, Aaron Brooks, Terrence Williams, the Stewart twins, Gaddy and Bradley, Jamelle McMillan, and the list goes on. But the talent didn’t separate Siva from the rest. Remember, Gaddy was the “more talented one” coming out of high school according to the scouts and coaches. It wasn’t Siva’s jumper or his handles. It wasn’t his passing ability. It was his mentality. He absolutely refused to let his team lose. He never let his ego take over a game. He never strayed from the course that his coaches laid out for him and his team. It is the same way he wills Louisville to victories in the NCAAs.Let me provide you with an example. In the quarterfinals of the state tournament, we trailed the 25-1 Franklin Quakers by four points at half time. With a less talented team, our game plan was working. We were connected with the Quakers who beat us 26 points just ten days before in districts. We even had Siva held relatively in check until he went up to dunk and….got rim checked. It was the worst thing that could have happened to us. All of a sudden Peyton Siva had a look on his face that I will honestly never forget. He looked like he wanted to maim, kill and devour all in his path. And he did. About one minute and thirty seconds later, the Quakers had gone a Peyton Siva 10-0 run behind his own points and his assists for lay ins. He stole the ball from us and dunked. He hit a jumper. He went off. The game was over. Siva willed it.

And we knew. And I guess we all should have known.

Abdul Gaddy was, and still is, a fine talent. He underachieved overall. He didn’t win enough. He never became a playmaker that could take over games. But he could have been a decent point guard with stats that would have been just enough had the Huskies won more games. But Gaddy has a bigger problem.

He just isn’t Peyton Siva. And that has been his biggest problem for Husky fans.

The short answer is: who the hell knows? The long answer is: who the hell knows with data!

Let’s start with simply comparing the names listed in Mariner opening day line ups over the past few seasons.

Note: Kawasaki hit .455 which led Major League Baseball last spring. Seager hit .360 with four homers.

Now you bring the fences in! And you serve poutine fries! DAMN IT!!!

There are five players in the 2011 line up (just two seasons ago!) that are no longer on Major League rosters. There are others like Miguel Olivo who no one wants on a Major League roster (and I would include Ichiro in that list for various reasons). This means that from an Opening Day line up just two seasons ago, Justin Smoak and Brendan Ryan are the only guys left. They might be the two worst hitters in the 2013 line up, so there has to be some improvement just by getting rid of deadweight and adding quality guys. Just take a look at the names listed in the 2013 version:

In the past few seasons, the Mariners rolled out 3-4 hitters that looked like this: Ichiro-Smoak, Bradley-Cust (ouch), Kotchman-Bradley (really?), and Sweeney-Beltre (at least half of it was legit). Even though Kendrys Morales and Michael Morse are not superstars, they are a huge improvement over the product of the past few seasons. That also shifts last year’s best hitter to the #2 hole in Kyle Seager and a potentially good hitter at #8 in Dustin Ackley (I am in wait and see mode with him right now). With Montero and Saunders at least providing some hope late in the line up, there is a chance this team could actually hit this year. And don’t forget the fences have moved in. We don’t know how that will affect this team and the M’s pitching staff, but it will be something to look for early on.

The question remains though: how about those 58 spring home runs?

My vision is that you hit the ball over the fence

There is no data to suggest that Spring Training numbers will translate to regular season numbers on a consistent basis. You’ve probably heard that before and it is certainly true when it comes to Seattle. Chone Figgins hit .225 last spring and .181 in the regular season. Well, maybe spring does matter. Unfortunately the year before he hit .373 in spring and .188 in the regular season. But c’mon, that is Chone Figgins. He can’t even make the Marlins roster. What about the power? WE WANT POWER!

The optomistic fan will look at that line up and say, “they have six guys with the potential to hit 20 HR and it wouldn’t be a stretch”. Montero could – and in many ways should – reach 20 HR this year. Saunders was only one away. Morse hit 18 in an injury riddled season (102 games). The 2012 Texas Rangers with Josh Hamilton, Adrian Beltre and others did not have six players with 20 or more home runs (they only had four). The 2012 New York Yankees only had five players hit 20 home runs. So could the 2013 Mariners do it? Of course it is possible, but how do we predict something seemingly so absurd to anyone who watched this team over the past few seasons? Yet the 58 home runs, nine more than any other team in baseball, has to mean something right? In 2012, the Detroit Tigers led the majors in home runs in the spring. They went on to the World Series. In 2011, the Kansas City Royals led baseball in spring homers. They went on to be the Kansas City Royals. Which leaves us clueless again. And without any answers.

That’s right, we have no fricking clue if this team will be able to hit this year. Spring gave us hope, but ultimately no way to predict future success. There simply is too much contradictory data. Michael Saunders tore it up in 2012 spring and then had a good season. Justin Smoak tore it up and continued to disappoint us. Ichiro had a great spring last year and a horrible spring the year before. Both regular seasons were disappointments for Ichiro standards. And we are again left with more questions than answers. But at least we have a little hope. 58 home runs will do that for you. Opening Day will do that for you. Jason Bay will do that for you.

Just kidding. Jason Bay has nothing to do with it.

Unless you are Casper Wells.

Most of those are true.

Thus, if you are looking for an alternative manner in which to make your picks this year, stay tuned. If not, go ahead and “analyze”. We’ll see who comes out on top. Without further ado, let me present: The Somewhat Notable Alumni Selection System.

Rules: 1) the person must be an alum or alumnae of the school and 2) they cannot be super-famous. They must be more like kind of famous or weird or quirky. Lastly, I determine what is weird or somewhat about all involved.

Here is the last region to be revealed! Get ready to win some handshakes!

Indiana vs. James Madison

If Yao Ming would have played in the NCAAs, one of two results would have occurred. Either A) he would have dominated as he is very tall or B) he would have broken his foot. There is no inbetween. But what if Colin Pine, Yao Ming’s interpreter, had played in the NCAAs? He would have sucked probably. It is a 16-1 match up anyway, which means Pine is in for a butt-whoopin. That he receives at the hands of Indiana graduate Dave Neihaus. Yes, THE Dave Neihaus. My oh my.

Hilarious

NC State vs. Temple

Tab Thacker was maybe the best five movie actor in the history of the world. He starred in two Police Academy movies and Wildcats (the Goldie Hawn football classic). He was a large man and a NC State grad. Unfortunately he was so large that he died in 2007 of complications due to heart failure and diabetes. In this match up, Thacker would win 7 – maybe 8 – times out of 10. But he faces an underrated stud in Irvin Kershner. The film director and graduate from Temple made one of the greatest movies of all time. ALL TIME. And it is Lincoln’s new favorite movie even though he watches just clips on YouTube. That movie is Empire Strikes Back. You can’t strike back on that. Or something.

UNLV vs. California

I wish I could root for UNLV again. I wish I liked their team as much as I did in the era of 1989-1991. In retrospect, was liking those teams like rooting for Kentucky today? Do middle school students just really not care about anything? You know who else just doesn’t give a flying funk? Guy Fieri, UNLV grad. He will eat anything and everything. Meanwhile, Terry McMillan wrote two famous books that became movies – Waiting to Exhale and How Stella Got Her Groove Back. Both of those films made me want to stab myself in the face. Guy Fieri makes me hungry. That wins.

Syracuse vs. Montana

One time in Vegas I nearly visited Studio 54. Or maybe we actually went in. I can’t really remember, but it probably involved paying about $200 each for eight guys to have a table and pretend we knew how to talk to girls. (Lets be honest, they approached me). But the newer Studio 54 doesn’t sound like the cocaine filled, sex orgy Studio 54 of yesteryear. Steve Rubell, a co-founder of Studio 54, graduated from Syracuse and had plans at one point to be a dentist. He sucked at dentistry so he majored in history. That implicity is another slap in my face. Carroll O’Conner played a blatant racist on television, but at least he was funny. Archie Bunker probably stands as a top 10 character in sitcom lore. All In The Family was a popular show, but is probably a more popular _____________ (its like a mad lib. Make your own choice) in Montana. Montana pulls the upset.

The Wire – the only thing better than March Madness

Butler vs. BucknellAs much as I love Brad Stevens and the Butler Bulldogs, I equally do not like Playgirl. It just isn’t my taste necessarily. Yet Peter Lupus, more famous for his appearance on the Mission Impossible television show, appeared in the April 1974 issue of Playgirl. See below for a photo.

Really? Come on. This is a PG-13 website.

Lupus has some talent obviously (where is this going?), but he cannot stack up to anyone – I mean anyone – who appeared on The Wire. Certainly not a bad ass like Chris Partlow. Gbenga Akinnagbe has starred in many shows, but most of all he starrred in The Wire. “You can look him in the eye now… no matter who he is or what he done you look him right in the eye.” Lupus just got dropped.

Marquette vs. Davidson

The Jesuits vs. the sons of David. A religious throwdown! But not in this tournament selection process – this throwdown features the creator of Bagel Bites vs. the CEO of Burger King. Essentially, pick your preferred poison. And by poison, I mean awesome late night food. Full disclosure, not a big Burger King fan which puts John Chidsey at a severe disadvantage. Yet Robert Mosher, the Bagel Bites inventor, deserves a soft spot in my heart. As a freshmen in college, I raided my friend’s mini-fridge in his dorm room late one night. After many video games and many Bagel Bites (as well as Jalapeno Poppers and Hot Pockets), I emptied the fridge. For some reason I did not buy him new frozen food. He came home from a weekend away and tried to break down my dorm room and kill me in retaliation. This is the same guy who carved a bull in his arm with a knife. So….Marquette moves on!

Illinois vs. Colorado

The great, annoying Jim Gray graduated from Colorado. Remember when Gray interviewed Pete Rose and pissed him off so much? To review:

Rose: Yeah, I’m surprised you’re bombarding me like this. I mean I’m doing an interview with you on a great night, a great occasion, a great ovation. Everybody seems to be in a good mood. And you’re bringing up something that happened 10 years ago.

Gray: I’m bringing it up because I think people would like to see … Pete, we’ve got to go, we’ve got a game.

Rose: This is a prosecutor’s brief, not an interview, and I’m very surprised at you. I am, really.

Gray: Some would be surprised that you didn’t take the opportunity.

So contentious Jim.

You know who isn’t annoying at all? Ron Swanson a.k.a. Nick Offerman of Parks and Rec. He is a golden television god. It’s all over. By the way, watch this video of Ron’s greatest hits. It is awesome.

Miami (FL) vs. Pacific

The soon-to-be WCC member has a small place in my heart, but Pacific also features Chris Isaak who HAS A HUGE PLACE IN MY HEART. Not really. Maybe. No.

Wicked games.

Sonny Gourley of Miami helped form AMC theaters. When I chose him I thought he was part of the television channel AMC. That channel produces Mad Men. Don Draper would rival Ron Swanson. Turns out, it was AMC theaters. Now I am not sure what to do. I guess I don’t own any Chris Isaak albums. Shoot, I don’t even own any songs of Chris Isaak. However, I do have an AMC gift card in my wallet. Miami moves on!

Indiana vs. Temple

Does anyone remember Mark Macon? He was one of the first point guards that I both wanted to be like and hated at the same time. Many of those guys came and went. Lee Mayberry. Chris Corchiani. Chris Jackson. Macon was at the top of the list. You know what else I loved/hated as a kid? The Empire Strikes Back. I think I viewed movies pretty simplisticly. I didn’t like it that the bad guys won in that movie. Obviously in retrospect it was the best one of all. Lando Carlissian turns on the Rebels and makes a deal with Darth Vader. You have Yoda in his finest form and the whole snow battle scene with Luke hiding in a tauntaun to save his own life. It is fantastic stuff. A really great film directed by ol’ Kershner. But he is facing Dave Niehaus. You want to get into my childhood? No you don’t? Too late. Niehaus provided 95% of my memories from age six to age 18. He was a legend on the microphone. If you aren’t from Seattle, you probably won’t agree with this selection but I don’t care.

UNLV vs. Montana

I visited Montana at the age of 16 on a summer vacation. My parents wanted to camp and have some good outdoor family fun. I acted like a 16 year old the whole time, plugging in my headphones and acting bored constantly. I feel bad about that trip, but not as bad as I feel for the trip to Vegas when I was 21.

Anyway, Archie Bunker takes on Guy Fieri. I feel like this is a game where two teams pull off upsets in the first round that was kind of exciting but no one wants to watch them play each other. It would be like Minnesota plays Northwestern State this year in the 3rd/2nd/screwyouNCAAs round. Fieri hosted Minute to Win It for two seasons on NBC, but that didn’t work out. He is considered the “face” of the Food Network and apparently males love watching him (whatever that means Wikipedia). Carroll O’Connor is considered a top 50 TV show actor of all-time apparently. Yet he only really starred in a spin-off of All in the Family, In the Heat of the Night, and Mad About You. For whatever reason, my parents used to have In the Heat of the Night on when I wanted to watch something else growing up, so I resent that show. And Mad About You? Is there anything worse to a 16-20 year old than this show? Fieri received the key to the city of Ferndale (CA). He wins.

Bucknell vs. Marquette

Bagel Bites can be delicious. They may not be good for you, but they make me happy. The same can be said about Chris Partlow. He is not good for you at all (i.e. killing you), but he makes me happy. I can’t explain it. I mean he is no Omar, but he is the brains and brawn behind Marlo Stanfield. Bagel Bites can’t compete with Chris and Snoop.

Illinois vs. Miami (FL)

While I do love me some movies, I have no particular affection for AMC theaters. In fact, I kind of get annoyed when there isn’t an AMC theater near my house. And they charge way to much for movies these days. Meanwhile you get gems like this from Ron Swanson: “The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.”

Was there any doubt at all?

Indiana vs. UNLV

Guy Fieri has overachieved to get to this point. It was only through the grace of Vegas that he reached the Sweet 16. And by grace of Vegas I mean he went up against Terry McMillan and Carroll O’Connor. Honestly, O’Connor should have won but the diabetes and death prevented him from making a late run. Niehaus keeps chugging along in the tournament, wiping out the competition. While Fieri puts up a fight by enticing Niehaus’s ghost with burgers and shakes, Niehaus has a secret weapon. In April of 2011, my wife and I attended the opening game of the Mariners season at Safeco Field. It was the first home game post-Dave Niehaus. A young rapper performed his Niehaus tribute song. That dude was named Macklemore. Just two years later, he had the top selling album and single in the United States. This Niehaus song really isn’t good, but it still makes me excited.

Bucknell vs. Illinois

An unexpected colassal match up. Nick Offerman of Illinois vs. Gbenga Akinnagbe of Bucknell. How does Ron Swanson fare against Chris Partlow? Well this is where Chris finds his demise. He took it too far when he went after Butchie. That is a blind man! Then Partlow goes to jail for Marlo Stanfield. Why are you taking the heat for young Marlo? Good soldier = dumbie. Sell out Marlo fool. He doesn’t love you. Swanson just keeps getting better.

Indiana vs. Illinois

A disgusting Big 10 match up for a trip to the Final Four. Dave Niehaus against Ron Swanson. While Swanson continues to make me laugh as much as any character on television ever has, Niehaus called the greatest sports moment of my life. Sitting in the 300 level of the Kingdome, my father and I had the best week ever watching the Mariners come back from 2-0 in the 1995 Divisional Playoffs to beat the Yankees. It is literally the greatest memory from my youth and the best sporting event in my lifetime. And it all finished with this.

Indiana moves on.